A Pack of Fools
by ChrissiHR
Summary: A collection of 100-word wolf pack drabbles written for Tricky Raven's April Fools' Advanced Drabble-Writing Challenge. 7 prompts, 7 drabbles, 7 days. M, for language and subject matter. (Contains 8 drabbles because I wrote an extra!)
1. Bachelor Party

_Hi, guys! I'm back again with more drabbles from Tricky Raven's inaugural drabble challenge. For those not in the know about the other recent additions over at TR, I'm Tricky Raven's new admin and the curator of TR's newest forum, too; The Writers' Workshop. In March, we held two brief series of workshops on the art of drabble-writing and deconstructing creative writing prompts like photos, text, and music prompts. If you're not yet a member of Tricky Raven or The Writers' Workshop on TR, I can't imagine what you're waiting for! Consider this your engraved invitation; come join us! It's not too late to write for the April Fools' Challenge!_

_The April Fools' Advanced Drabble-Writing Challenge began Sunday, March 29th. Prompts will be posted all week until Saturday, April 4th, and submissions are due Monday, April 6th at noon, EDT. Rules and Guidelines are available on TR in The Writers' Workshop._ \- ChrissiHR

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**Date:** March 29, 2015

**Fanfiction**

**Title:** Bachelor Party

**Pairing/Characters:** Jared, Paul, Jacob, Embry, Quil

**Rating:** M, for strong language and titty bars

**Genre:** humor/adult

**Word Count:** 100

**Prompt 1: **[photo of Cupcake ATM]

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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**Bachelor Party**

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"What the fuck is this?" Jared backpedaled. "I promised Kimmy we were only playing pool."

"And … we are." Paul grinned. "Here." He waved to encompass the neon fuchsia sign. Pulsing in the dim evening light, its glimmering day-glo sex beckoned men with the promise of soft tits and strippers named after baked goods.

"_Cupcakes_, Gentlemen's Club and … _Exotic Bakery_…?" Embry's voice cracked in disbelief.

Jake patted his pockets. "I better hit the ATM. I love cinnamon buns."

Paul nodded absently, "Yeah, she should be here, too."

Jared choked, "Cinnamon Buns?"

"And Cherry Poundcake," Quil sighed, licking his lips.

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**A/N:** _No shame in my drabble game._ ;D


	2. Baby's First Words

**Date:** March 30, 2015

**Fanfiction**

**Title:** Baby's First Words

**Pairing/Characters:** Bella/Paul, OC (baby Owen), Quil

**Rating:** M

**Genre:** humor/family/friendship

**Word Count:** 100

**Prompt 2: **"I would love to have an army of robot attack pigeons."

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**Baby's First Words**

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"Guys! He did it!" Paul crowed, tossing baby Owen in the air. The wild ride elicited a sharp string of giggles from the baby's mouth.

Bella crossed her arms, hissing, "He did not. _Don't tell people that!_"

Paul grinned and poked her with the proverbial stick, "Tell people what? My kid's a genius. Hush your mouth, woman."

"You hush! I am not writing, '_Baby's First Words:_ _Attack, robot minions!_' in the baby book!"

"So what are you going to write?"

She grunted, " '_Quil Ateara is a dead man._' "

"You think we could teach him to say that, too?"

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**A/N:** _I'm leaning a little heavy on Quil for laughs with this and the next, but he's so much fun to write! Happy April Fools'!_


	3. Incredulous

**Date:** March 31, 2015

**Fanfiction**

**Title:** Incredulous

**Pairing/Characters:** Embry, Quil/Bella

**Rating:** M

**Genre:** humor/adult

**Word Count:** 100

**Prompt 3: **"High and Lazy" print by Bezt (prompts can be viewed on TR or on Twitter, ChrissiHR)

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**Incredulous**

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"QUIL! Why's your door locked?" Embry pounded hard on the doorjamb.

Minutes passed. The door swung open, revealing the lamentably unforgettable Quil Ateara, V—a heart-patterned white cami and boy shorts straining to cover his large frame.

"DUDE." Embry waved billowing smoke from the space between them as Quil exhaled.

"What is it?" a feminine voice rasped, emerging behind Quil. Embry met Bella's bloodshot eyes as she coughed and sputtered a lungful of La Push's best kine.

"Bella?" Embry gaped.

"Embry!" she tugged Quil's wife-beater down to cover her bits, flashed her boobs instead, and slammed the door in his face.

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**A/N:** _Not sure why the idea of 'wake and bake' Bella cracks me up so much! :D_


	4. Squirrel Nuts

**Date:** April 1, 2015

**Fanfiction**

**Title:** Squirrel Nuts

**Pairing/Characters: **Bella, Leah, Brady, Collin

**Rating:** M

**Genre:** humor/friendship

**Word Count:** 100

**Prompt 4: **"Damn It Feels Good to be a Gangster" Needlepoint

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**Squirrel Nuts**

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"What are they doing?" Bella asked, drifting to the open doorway to stand beside Leah.

The she-wolf sighed, annoyed, "Fuck knows. Looking for squirrel nuts…?"

"Are they trying to phase?" Bella stared in fascination as Collin and Brady turned beet red with effort.

"Yeah, _into_ squirrels. Paul told them squirrels eat nuts because they don't have any. Then Quil told them to catch one and check, but they kept scaring them off, so…"

"They're trying to phase to look at each other's nuts," Bella surmised.

"Yup."

"I'll get the camera. You get the wine."

"On it." Leah twirled the corkscrew.

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**A/N:** _There __was__ a pair of squirrels on that needlepoint!_ ;D


	5. Only Human

**Date:** April 2, 2015

**Fanfiction**

**Title:** Only Human

**Pairing/Characters:** Embry/Bella

**Rating:** M

**Genre:** angst/hurt-comfort/family - **NOTE THE SWITCH IN GENRE FOR THIS ONE! The April Fools' Challenge is a drabble-writing, PROMPT challenge, not a comedy challenge!**

**Word Count:** 100

**Prompt 5:** Sergei Polunin ballet video - Take Me to Church by Hozier - I focused on the lines, _"Knows everybody's disapproval," "Only then am I human,"_ and _"There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin."_ I cherry-picked the HELL out of this prompt! ;D

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**Only Human**

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"She hates me," Bella mourned the lost connection, the weighty disapproval another burden amongst many.

_"For this…?"_ Embry tapped the center of a tiny palm. Miniature fingers curled in reflex around his heat. "She's a hypocrite. Let her lie about her own sins, but," he stroked translucent skin, "our son is innocent. If the gentle sins that made him are really sins, they're mine alone. No regrets, B."

"No regrets," she agreed, pressing her body to his, their newborn son cradled in the space between.

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**A/N:**_ What I wouldn't give for another 400 words to explore this convo more! And, HOLY JEEBUS, is it just me or does Sergei Polunin remind anyone else of Embry in that prompt video? _(O.o) Two prompts remain for the challenge this week. Wish me luck!


	6. MINE

**Date:** April 3, 2015

**Fanfiction**

**Title:** MINE

**Pairing/Characters:** Leah, Seth, pack, Bella

**Rating:** M, for shanking snitches

**Genre:** humor/adult

**Word Count:** 100

**Prompt 6: [Cheeseburger Stabbing photo]**

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**MINE**

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Grand gestures happened so rarely to Leah; she had to read Bella's note three times.

.

_To the strongest woman I know, thanks for giving me my life back._

_—Bella_

_P.S. Jake told me these are your favorite._

_._

Leah carried the frozen crate into the kitchen, setting it on the table in front of the guys gathered for the afternoon's debriefing.

"Ooh… What's in the—"

"MINE," Leah snarled.

Her little brother gasped when she sliced through the packaging tape to reveal the White Castle logo.

Leah brandished the boxcutter, "Don't even. I will shank you like a jailhouse snitch, Sethy."

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A/N: Keep an eye out for a special note at the end of the drabble for prompt no. 7! (Chapter 8!)


	7. Bloodlust

**Date:** April 3, 2015

**Fanfiction**

**Title:** Bloodlust

**Pairing/Characters:** Bella, Sam, the pack

**Rating:** M, for blood

**Genre:** horror

**Word Count:** 100

**Prompt 6: [Cheeseburger Stabbing photo]**

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**Bloodlust**

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_"Fuck!"_

_"Sam!"_

Shouts erupted as the bitter tang of fresh blood assaulted Sam's senses. Across the firepit, Embry's huge hand locked over Bella's bleeding wrist while Jake tried to pry something shiny from the other clenched fist. Littering the ground were the remnants of her dinner—a rare cheeseburger, its blood pooling on one side of a crumpled paper plate.

"It wanted the blood," she whispered.

Sam knelt at her feet. "What did, Bella?"

"My scar—the venom tugged inside my skin. It wanted blood." Her eyes skittered across the sand to the knife in Jake's hand. "So I let it out."

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**A/N:** _Sometimes, when the writing partner says "write the thing", I write the thing._ ;)


	8. No Promises

**Date:** April 4, 2015

**Fanfiction**

**Title:** No Promises

**Pairing/Characters:** Bella/Embry

**Rating:** M, for doin' it in the big red truck

**Genre:** adult/romance

**Word Count:** 100

**Prompt 7: You Fckn Did It by Jason Mraz**

**A/N**: _Someone recently pointed out I've really only written Embry smut in soft, gentle scenes or dreams (and both of us forgot about Bella jumping Embry that one time in PB&amp;J), so I wrote this as a salve and apology to those who think I've forgotten how to write smut and don't write enough Embry smut._ ;D _It's a fairly LITERAL interpretation of the song prompt; I know._ ;D

_My next project is going to be a series of flashfic and literotica workshops, and a summer writing challenge for_ **Tricky Raven's LUV: Lemon University**. _If you haven't joined that group, but want to get updates when it begins, head over to Tricky Raven to join the group so you'll be among the first to hear when there's news!_

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**No Promises**

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No words shared.

No promises made.

His lambent eyes darkened as thoughts of what they did—what they continued doing—made her flush with arousal and it started all over again. The windows fogged and the truck's beleaguered suspension creaked as Bella straddled the quiet friend, the one who listened—her best friend's right hand man.

"Bella," he moaned, lifting her weight with a thrust of his slim hips.

"Oh, God, Embrryyy..." Head falling forward, she squeezed and dragged him over the edge. He shouted in relief, wrapped her up in strong arms. She wept. She'd never felt more human, never more alive.

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*****SPECIAL NOTE FOR READERS*****

In case you missed it, Tricky Raven opened bidding last night for its 3rd Annual Author/Artist Silent Auction!

What does that mean for readers?

It means you can bid on a list of 20 fandom authors, 6 fandom artists, and 3 unique collaborative writing teams!

SO MANY CHOICES!

And I'm one of them! Actually ... I'm TWO of them this year. ;) I'm on the auction block to write a one-shot for one high bidder and another one-shot as a collab with my writing partner, meliz875, who is ALSO up on the auction block again this year to write a one-shot! Come bid on us and let's write some fun fanfiction!


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